Dear Rover Engineers

[slowmo]

This is the first of my notes of appreciation to the engineers who designed the Rover.

I want to thank you for allowing my birth defect to finally come in handy. You see, I have an extra arm sticking out of the middle of my forehead. It has two elbows and the fingers are as tiny as a gecko. Without this birth defect I wouldn't have been able to attach my speedometer cable at the transmission.

In fact, I am quite certain no person without this defect would be able to get those three tiny little screws (with super tiny little lock washers) located on the locking plate without dropping each screw 97 times. And each time I imagine the lock washer would dart in one direction and the screw would land just out of reach. I suppose someone would then have to shimmy on their back out from under the truck, shine a flashlight to find the screw and the washer, and then shimmy back under the truck on their back again. After 97 times I suppose many people would be cussing profusely.

Honestly. You could have used a nurled nut like they use on every single other vehicle ever made. In fact, if you had done it that way anyone could attach the speedometer cable without even looking! But then, I would not have found a use for my extra, tiny little, forehead, arm, with gecko fingers to reach up and get those screws right in, first time, without dropping any of them once.

So, thank you, Rover engineers.

[SafeAirOne]

A) A glob of Vaseline x3 is extremely helpful in that situation

B) Try replacing the ignition switch on a SIII in-situ sometime--makes the speedo cable seem like a walk in the park!

;)

[bensdad]

Too funny. Yes that has to be the most frustrating thing. I had the very same problem and spoke about it here and one of our forum geniuses suggested replacing the screws with the same sized hex bolts and it was simple from there on. You might try that good luck.
Can your third arm at least hold a beer?

[slowmo]

The gecko sized fingers on my extra tiny little forehead arm with two elbows cannot hold a beer, but it can open beers. So another advantage is I can hold a beer in a normal hand, open it with my gecko had, and scratch my fanny...ALL the same time.

After replacing the cable, my slowdometer still indicates that I am going somewhere between 5 MPH and 7032 MPH. My neighbor passed me when he was dragging out his trash bin so I can conclude that he either is one fast neighbor, or I will never know how slow I am going in the truck.

[TravelinLight]

I use an app on my phone which uses the GPS to determine speed. So far it has worked pretty well. My speedometer works ok, reads maybe 5 under.

[mearstrae]

You'd think Rover Engineers would get better after some odd decades of practice, but NO. The new Rovers are as quirky and hard to fathom as the old ones.

'99 Disco II
'95 R.R.C. Lwb (Gone...)
'76 Series III Hybrid 109
'70 Rover 3500S

[bensdad]

And Slowmo, don't forget the matches ;)

[slowmo]

Dear Rover Engineers,
You also had some very good designs. Yesterday I sheared a half shaft. It was incredibly easy to remove the axles and the rear diffy (to get the sheared piece out). Within say 1hr I had it disassembled, broken shaft identified, diffy back in and good shaft and hub reassembled.

Well done, Rover Engineers. Well done indeed!

[I Leak Oil]

Dear Rover Engineers,
You also had some very good designs. Yesterday I sheared a half shaft. It was incredibly easy to remove the axles and the rear diffy (to get the sheared piece out). Within say 1hr I had it disassembled, broken shaft identified, diffy back in and good shaft and hub reassembled.

Well done, Rover Engineers. Well done indeed!

They worked for 4 decades to perfect that design. Same goes for the use of the aluminum Buick designed V8. Well done Cletus....

[Partsman]

I use an app on my phone which uses the GPS to determine speed. So far it has worked pretty well. My speedometer works ok, reads maybe 5 under.


The gecko sized fingers on my extra tiny little forehead arm with two elbows cannot hold a beer, but it can open beers. So another advantage is I can hold a beer in a normal hand, open it with my gecko had, and scratch my fanny...ALL the same time.

After replacing the cable, my slowdometer still indicates that I am going somewhere between 5 MPH and 7032 MPH. My neighbor passed me when he was dragging out his trash bin so I can conclude that he either is one fast neighbor, or I will never know how slow I am going in the truck.

I'm currently working on using an electric speedometer from an F-150 pick-up with a hall effect sensor. then I'll mount the whole doo-hickey in my Series speedometer housing and hope that I'll actually know how fast I'm going.

[Jim-ME]

Good luck Harvey. I've found it much easier to use a GPS.
Jim

[Partsman]

Well the theory is sound Jim, maybe I'll get it to work, though I wouldn't hold my breath on it, as I'm more of a wrench guy than an electron guy.

[TeriAnn]

Dear Rover Engineers,
You also had some very good designs. Yesterday I sheared a half shaft. It was incredibly easy to remove the axles and the rear diffy (to get the sheared piece out). Within say 1hr I had it disassembled, broken shaft identified, diffy back in and good shaft and hub reassembled.

Well done, Rover Engineers. Well done indeed!

While full floating hubs are indeed wonderful' the junk 10 spline axles that tend to break every 30 -40K miles or less if you rock crawl are indeed junk. I think the only reason Rover stayed with them is because they were to poor to implement a more robust solution. Thankfully they were able to make the Dana 60 (AKA Salisbury) under license from Dana for the SIII 109 and the axle assembly was a bolt in upgrade for the earlier 109s. Even then I'm surprised that they put 24 spline axles in the Salisbury when there is room for a larger 30 spline axle. I guess the 24 splines were less expensive.

The count before I switched to 24 spline axles front and rear is 7 rear axles broken, one front axle broken, one front axle twisted and likely soon to break. Since the swap no axles have broken. Knock on birmabright.

Just like it was less expensive to stay with the 1934 designed Series gearbox. I suppose that since the company was operating on a shoe string they couldn't spend $$ engineering and tooling up strength upgrades. But a reengineered stronger drive train would have made the Series a lot more robust.

And as far as the speedo cable is concerned, my truck has been without one since 1980. I have a tach where the big double gauge was and drive off the tach. I never regretted putting in a tach and giving the speedo cable the heave ho. The speedo is still there just to fill the hole and to meet expectations of any officer who might look inside the vehicle (none have so far).

[flighht2k5]

Dear Rover Engineers,
You also had some very good designs. Yesterday I sheared a half shaft. It was incredibly easy to remove the axles and the rear diffy (to get the sheared piece out). Within say 1hr I had it disassembled, broken shaft identified, diffy back in and good shaft and hub reassembled.

Well done, Rover Engineers. Well done indeed!

Actually as much as I dislike gm, they are the ones who designed full float axles in the 30s. Land Rover isn't the only manufacturer that uses this design.


"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

[cedryck]

Dear Rover engineers,
thank you for designing a vehicle with great capability but will cause you to lose some of your hearing.
thank you for making us guess how slow we are going, (already said but worth mentioning again),
thank you for making us good mechanics,
thank you for designing a truck that drives like the shopping cart at the A&P with the seized screwed up front wheel,
thank you for all of the pizza boxes under the truck to keep the dripping oil in check,
that's it I'm done,

[slowmo]

Dear Rover Engineers,
I can't believe I have to write you again so soon, for since December I have replaced all the wheel bearings, all the brakes and wheel cylinders, the shocks, the exhaust manifold, the generator, the battery, the tires, the transmission, the clutch, slave cylinder and pressure plate. This is not all your fault, mind you. The previous owner didn't do any maintenance at all.

I thought I might actually get to drive it. But no. A week later the rear axle broke, and now the master clutch cylinder will not pump up at all. I think I tore my hamstring pumping the clutch pedal so fast that my leg was a blur. I couldn't stop and I actually took flight and buzzed around the interior of the truck until I smashed into the fire extinguisher. The medical bill is in the mail.

So here is my complaint. Are you serious? I have to remove the fender "er...wing" to yank the cylinder and put a kit on it. Really? Well that, sirs, is a design feature that is unique to Rovers, and cars made in Kazakhstan. Since they don't make cars in Kazakhstan I suppose we can call it a "Uniquely Rover design feature."

Thank you, Rover Engineers. Job well done is not what I would say about the clutch master cylinder wing removal required debacle.

[bensdad]

OMG it all sounds so exhausting. I just put a new clutch master in w/o having to remove the fender/wing whatever on my 60. Of course you have to remove almost everything else in the world, but it did come out. This is a S2 btw. Good luck!

[slowmo]

Dear Rover Engineers,
At least the fender (I mean...wing) is easy to remove. But why oh why. You could have designed the master cylinder and pedal assembly to be removed from inside the truck rather than having to remove the fender.

I have a feeling we will be in contact soon. Both front swivel ball assemblies leak, but for cryin' out loud. Can't you let me drive it for a month or so?