Series Commandments?

[bmohan55]

A while back on some LR forum I read something very funny concerning Series ownership in the form of Commandments or a top ten list.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about????? I've checked all my bookmarked sites and can't find it.

[rwollschlager]

Is this what your talking about?

http://eastcoastrover.com/Seriesswear.html

[Jeff Aronson]

Series Commandments

Here's what I wrote up once in a Behind the Steering Wheel column in the Rovers North News in 2006:

The Ten Commandments of Land Rovers

[On a recent archeological dig at Stonehenge a strange document was uneathed, revealing a new set of The Ten Commandments –ed].

• I am thy Land Rover which brought you out of the muddy field, sheltered you from the winter’s snow, and caused the non-believer to cast furtive glances thy way. Worship me.

• Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Range Rover Sport, neither his heated garage nor his battery charger, for you may need them one day.

• Thou shalt remember to feed thy children after purchasing all needed Land Rover parts, for thy children deserve nourishment as much as your Discovery

• Thou shalt not deceive thy spouse or significant other into thinking that thee is partaking in a romantic picnic when indeed thou art going out to look at the Series Land Rover parked in a field for the past 10 years.
• Thou shalt not love thy spouse and children more than thy Land Rover.

• Thou shalt not despise thy neighbor's Land Cruiser, nor his XTerra, nor even his Lexus, for he knows not of his sins.
• Thou shalt not tell thy spouse the entire cost of thy latest restoration - at least not all at the same time - nor shall thou share the sacred invoice amount with a spouse who lacks the appropriate enthusiasm. They, too, can be saved.
• Thou shalt not prepare a carburetor rebuild on the same table as supper, for unclean foods will foul the jets.

• Thou shalt not allow thy children nor significant relatives to wed in holy matrimony during sacred holidays, such as the Mid Atlantic Rally or the Solihull Society’s National Rally. Those days must be celebrated and kept holy,

• There is only one Green Oval. One must not worship false idols, such as three-pointed stars or twisted Tridents.

[Translated from the original Earle Englishe by Jeffrey Aronson]